Have you ever noticed that we tend to focus on what's going wrong with our relationship rather than what's going right? This is what psychologists and sociologists refer to as "negativity bias." Here is an example of how it works in our brains: Imagine going on...
We love this saying because it underlies so many of the breakdowns that couples have: We argue for our intentions, but others judge us on our impact. Why do we find it so meaningful in our practice? When we say things that upset or offend the person...
We’ve been trained on different therapies and we find that what each therapy really focuses on is useful in different situations. When you’re looking at a therapist or for a therapist, you want one that you have a good connection with and that gets good...
"There is nothing more gentle than true strength and there is nothing stronger than true gentleness." — Terry Real Of the many types of intimacy, the one that couples find most difficult is emotional intimacy. Often written as Into-Me-You-See, it’s a phonetic joke that has real...
"There is nothing more gentle than true strength and there is nothing stronger than true gentleness." Of all the domains of intimacy, the one that couples find most difficult is emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy or, "in to me you see," is that sense of closeness we...
Couples often ask us to recommend additional resources for taking their relationship to the next level. We decided to put together a list of our common recommendations, which include those you can do even now as we are in shutdown—and some for later, when you...
We know it may sound counterintuitive to even think about having fun as this pandemic continues to unfold in such a scary and serious way. The more we learn about how this invisible enemy is attacking all of us around the world, our stress and...
We are living in unprecedented times, navigating uncharted territories. We are all showing up the best we can. Our partners are probably experiencing the best of us—and perhaps the worst of us. We all have different ways of coping with crisis. For example, one of...
“The task is not to seek love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you built against it” ~ Rumi As we approach Valentine’s Day we can’t help but to think about love. “What is love anyhow?” We believe...
“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” – Henry Miller As a relationship couples’ therapist, the question I have always pondered is, can you be mindful or fully present in relationship?...