Overcoming the Tricky Issues around Asking for Love and Caring Behaviors [caption id="attachment_1328" align="aligncenter" width="528"] Asking expressly for the caring behaviors you desire can be a relief to your partner.[/caption] As many of you know, Debbie Seid and I held a Valentine’s Day weekend workshop entitled, “The...
Easy connection can be yours when you communicate intentionally rather than competitively. Everyone wants a safe connection and most are baffled that it’s so difficult to achieve. My previous post, “3 Reasons Typical Couples’ Communication Stinks,” covered just why so many couples feel they...
[caption id="attachment_1828" align="alignright" width="300"] AAArrrrrgggghhhh[/caption] Dialogue is typically defined as an exchange of ideas or opinions on a particular issue. The problem with that definition is, in relationships people often aren’t really listening to each other, and so ideas aren’t truly “exchanged.” Unfortunately, partners who...
"The task is not to seek love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you built against it." Rumi As we approach Valentine's Day I can't help but to think about love. While there are many aspects of love, for the purposes...
Dating services experience a boom in January as singles determine that 2015 will be the year they will finally find the love of their life. With so many out there yearning to be in a committed, loving relationship, I wanted to provide some support and...
In my last post, “Can Men and Women Really Be Just Friends?” I covered the issues that make opposite sex friendships challenging. It explores the perspectives of both partners -- the one involved in the friendship as well as the one outside it. Please...
[caption id="attachment_1837" align="aligncenter" width="300"] What do you think?[/caption] In my relationship counseling practice, a number of the couples I work with explain with great distress that their spouses have friends of the opposite sex. Frequently these are friendships that developed before the couple met. Some of...
[caption id="attachment_1840" align="alignright" width="300"] Space can be scary; clear communication helps.[/caption] Made of just four little words, the sentence, “I need some space,” can create havoc between partners in a committed relationship. Couples coming to my San Diego marriage counseling offices conflict over this request. The...
[caption id="attachment_1516" align="alignright" width="300"] Do these divisions make sense to you?[/caption] In his popular New York Times article, “The All or Nothing Marriage,” researcher and Northwestern University psychology professor Eli Finkel claims that that the goal of marriage in the 21st Century has shifted. Finkel asserts...
[caption id="attachment_1844" align="aligncenter" width="292"] Marriage counseling can break through stony defenses[/caption] You may have heard that marriage counseling is the “death throes” of a marriage. Maybe your spouse is asking, “does marriage counseling work?” The answer is yes, absolutely. I have seen couples on the brink...