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“Out beyond rightness or wrongness, there is a field. I will meet you there.” -   Rumi, 13th century Persian poet   While the title of this post makes a nice, short headline, the question could be better stated, “Why do couples’ fights become so heated and painful?” and “Is there...

Marriage education needs a little humor. Seriously folks, considering printing out this list and posting it somewhere you'll see it regularly. Marriage needs reminders.   Thou shall practice daily acts of caring and kindness Thou shall not criticize blame...

Overcoming the Tricky Issues around Asking for Love and Caring Behaviors [caption id="attachment_1328" align="aligncenter" width="528"] Asking expressly for the caring behaviors you desire can be a relief to your partner.[/caption] As many of you know, Debbie Seid and I held a Valentine’s Day weekend workshop entitled, “The...

[caption id="attachment_1837" align="aligncenter" width="300"] What do you think?[/caption] In my relationship counseling practice, a number of the couples I work with explain with great distress that their spouses have friends of the opposite sex. Frequently these are friendships that developed before the couple met. Some of...

[caption id="attachment_1840" align="alignright" width="300"] Space can be scary; clear communication helps.[/caption] Made of just four little words, the sentence, “I need some space,” can create havoc between partners in a committed relationship. Couples coming to my San Diego marriage counseling offices conflict over this request. The...

  [caption id="attachment_1855" align="alignright" width="300"] Extraordinary, life-long relationships full of passion and intimacy ARE a reality[/caption] Relationships don’t run themselves any more than careers do. Those who take their professions seriously look for opportunities to acquire new skills and use those skills to benefit the business, which...

Perhaps the number one characteristic of a successful conscious relationship is communication. Without communication any relationship slowly deteriorates. At times, it is very difficult to maintain communication with your partner. Most of us were not taught the rudiments of open and honest communication in childhood,...