As I have said, healthy happy relationships do not just happen, we need healthy habits and habits require effort. One of the habits every relationship needs is the habit of having fun. Your relationship should only be serious 25% of the time while the rest...

“Out beyond rightness or wrongness, there is a field. I will meet you there.” -   Rumi, 13th century Persian poet   While the title of this post makes a nice, short headline, the question could be better stated, “Why do couples’ fights become so heated and painful?” and “Is there...

In the 1970s, the divorce rate in the United States rose to 50% and that is where it has hovered for the last 40 years. Many marriage researchers report that marriage today has more pressure on it than ever before. Partners today expect their...

Marriage education needs a little humor. Seriously folks, considering printing out this list and posting it somewhere you'll see it regularly. Marriage needs reminders.   Thou shall practice daily acts of caring and kindness Thou shall not criticize blame...

Overcoming the Tricky Issues around Asking for Love and Caring Behaviors [caption id="attachment_1328" align="aligncenter" width="528"] Asking expressly for the caring behaviors you desire can be a relief to your partner.[/caption] As many of you know, Debbie Seid and I held a Valentine’s Day weekend workshop entitled, “The...

[caption id="attachment_1844" align="aligncenter" width="292"] Marriage counseling can break through stony defenses[/caption] You may have heard that marriage counseling is the “death throes” of a marriage. Maybe your spouse is asking, “does marriage counseling work?” The answer is yes, absolutely. I have seen couples on the brink...

If you could envision your perfect relationship, what would it look like? How would you feel? What would you be doing? Do you dream of laughing often? Feeling safe and relaxed? Having joint activities you both find meaningful? If we dream, we can create. If...